Archive for April 23, 2011

Easter Excuses!

If you are someone who either goes on diets or follows a strict diet, the holidays are always tough. Everyone is always trying to get you to stray from your diet. I know, you hear it all the time.

“Oh gosh just have a piece of pie, you can start the diet back up tomorrow.”

Don’t worry, we are here for you. Here are a few excuses and tactics to use at that Easter get together.

  • Chances are you are going to a couple of different homes on Easter. Here’s an excuse for everyone at the first destination. “I don’t want to eat a lot here because I won’t want to offend his parents when we get to their house.”
  • This works in reverse for the second destination. “Oh, I’ll have to pass; I am so stuffed from eating at her parents’ house. You can even put a dab of barbecue sauce on your shirt so that everyone thinks you’ve been chowing down.
  • Hover around the vegetable and fruit tray snacking on those. Most people will just see that your mouth is always full and won’t question if you’ve been eating or not. Having your mouth full of food might keep you from being stuck in a corner talking about government conspiracies and alien probes with your crazy uncle.
  • Get a huge plate of all the goodies, so much that everyone will have to notice you are overindulging. Surely someone will feel bad for you and offer support by saying, “Wow, I thought you were on a diet.” This is your opportunity to play on their emotions and say, “You know, you’re right, I shouldn’t do this to myself,” and return all the goodies. No one will question you, as they will believe they are responsible for stopping you from a complete meltdown. Some might even put theirs away to support your diet. Congratulations, you have just turned the table on them.
  • Grab a blue Easter egg, rub it all over your face and tell everyone that you aren’t feeling well, hence the reason you’re Blue in the face.
  • At your first destination eat a couple hard boiled Easter eggs. By the time you reach your second destination, no one will want to be around you and your flatulence or notice what you’ve been eating.

If all else fails, yell out, “RESPECT MY DIET!” Or, just loosen up and have a cheat day. Happy Easter!

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